An Open Letter to Trader Joe's: Please Install Wi-Fi

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The following letter was submitted to Clarendon Patch on Friday. Links and photo added by Patch.

An Open Letter to :

I am thrilled that . I frequent it often for everything from veggies to wine.

One problem: In your Clarendon location there is no cell phone reception. I have made numerous requests in person for the store to supply free Wi-Fi. So many times I have needed to Google a recipe and I couldn't because my phone didn't work. This is frustrating to me, and I often don't spend as much money as I could if I could access those recipes.

Last night I stopped by to pick up some avocados for my lunch today. All of the avocados were still hard. No problem, I thought, I know how to make them ripe! You put them in a brown bag with a... with a... darn, I forgot! Was it an apple? A pear? A banana? Let me Google it... Oh, wait. I can't.

So I bought the avocados and decided to just deal with them being a little hard.

I got home and put them in a brown bag overnight. It helped a little, but not nearly as much as it would have if I had the apple. (It was an apple.)

This morning, as I cut up the firm avocado with a very sharp butcher knife, I slipped -- and cut along the side of my entire left thumb below the knuckle. I bled so much I was light-headed. I taped it back together for lack of anything else I could do to prevent myself from bleeding all the way to Urgent Care.

I type this letter with my working nine fingers not to blame you, but to beg you: Please install Wi-Fi in your store.

Thank you,

Lindsey Heitman


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Kevin Diffily March 17, 2012 at 03:50 PM
I second that. This should be standard at EVERY business.
Jason Spencer (Editor) March 17, 2012 at 08:02 PM
As someone who takes my office (i.e. laptop and/or phone) with me everywhere I go, I can't disagree :)
Samantha Williams March 19, 2012 at 12:45 PM
Or you could go to the store prepared with a shopping list...
SarahBethe March 19, 2012 at 01:14 PM
Really? First, buy avacados that are soft when you squeeze them. Second, if you need to check a recipe that badly because you failed to prepare ahead of time, step outside for a few seconds. Why should TJ subsidize your lack of preparedness?
John Q Public March 19, 2012 at 01:19 PM
please tell me you are joking.....the fact that Trader Joes is filled with people like you is why I hate going there....I would rather do my grocery shopping with the drunks and homeless people at 7-11
A C March 19, 2012 at 01:27 PM
1. She should learn how to safely use a knife. 2. She could have asked a TJ's employee what would help ripen the avocados. 3. We've been shopping at grocery stores long before we have cell phones... go prepared and write your list down. Ugh.
Ivy Dutch March 19, 2012 at 01:51 PM
Ms Heitman, you are a self important nitwit. Please refrain from blaming your idiocy on everyone else.
Mike March 19, 2012 at 02:19 PM
Why should it be standard that every business allow the bandwidth they pay for to be used by the public? Next you'll say it should be standard that home wi-fi networks be open to anyone that walks by.
Y T Karashinski March 19, 2012 at 02:30 PM
BALONEY!! Get a life (instead of a knife) lady!!!
sdetroit March 19, 2012 at 03:00 PM
Lance Manyon March 19, 2012 at 03:02 PM
I seriously hope this letter is a joke. I'm guessing that's a fake name--who would admit to writing this?
John March 19, 2012 at 03:04 PM
@ Y T Karashinski. Couldn't agree more. If you know you are going to the store write down what you need B4 U go. Seriously need to not be so attached to all the elect. garb we have. Function as a human being and quit letting all your gadgets control your life. To all those who think I am mindless and have no high tech gadgets you are way off base. I just choose to live my life and not let it be ran by tinker toys. Open your eyes people, life is passing you by. Look Up.
Stuart March 19, 2012 at 03:14 PM
What an idiot
Jason Spencer (Editor) March 19, 2012 at 03:58 PM
Hey, let's tone it down everyone -- This woman has the right to express her opinion just like everyone else. Also, one comment was deleted from this thread for violating Patch's terms of use (i.e. violating a person's right to privacy).
J March 19, 2012 at 04:28 PM
I google recipes on my cell phone all the time in that Trader Joes... sounds like a bad phone
Caitlin T March 19, 2012 at 05:15 PM
Doug Tallman March 19, 2012 at 06:36 PM
Maybe, but it does seem as though, as a rule, grocery stores have bad cell reception.
Linda B March 19, 2012 at 07:12 PM
If your brain wasn't so numbed from over reliance on the internet perhaps you could have remembered the apple. People like you make me fear the society of the future... ugh.
commonsense March 19, 2012 at 08:15 PM
Dear Trader Joes, Due to your lack of wi-fi I was unable to google how to properly use a knife. Your failure to provide a free iphone also prevented me from being able to ask Siri how to bandage my wound properly.
Kevin Adler March 19, 2012 at 09:19 PM
Sounds like white people problems to me
Bob Jones March 19, 2012 at 09:34 PM
The letter is quite funny and its written in the language of sarcasm. What's another $25 a month in a DSL line and $30 for a wireless router for Trader Joes?
Regular User March 19, 2012 at 10:04 PM
Wow, talk about first world problems.
Doug Tallman March 20, 2012 at 12:35 AM
"First world problems"? Maybe, but I think Ms. Heitman raises a point about our safety. What if instead of finding out the trick to ripen avocados, she was trying to call 911 for a customer suffering a heart attack or stroke? She might need only a few extra moments to run outside the store to get a cell signal to summon the EMTs, but those will be extremely frantic moments for that patron's family. Interesting, too, that Ms. Heitman signed her letter. Her critics, mostly, are anonymous.
J. Kuma March 20, 2012 at 01:43 AM
Uh, Doug Tallman, I'm pretty sure the store has phones in their office! If a customer was suffering a heart attack or a stroke, she could have just yelled for the nearest employee to call 9-1-1. Again, over-reliance on cell phones is paralyzing people. How did we ever survived without them?!
Regular User March 20, 2012 at 02:16 AM
I think Doug Tallman is trying to be chivalrous on behalf of Ms. Heitman to bolster her weak argument. Ms. Heitman is not complaining about a lack of cell service in request for cell service to aid her fellow humans under dire straits. She is concerned about getting free WiFi (to maybe text 911?) so she wouldn't need to talk with a food service professional about her dilemma. However, to Mr. Tallman's final point, kudos to Ms. Heitman for having the courage to sign her name.
Stupid Lady March 20, 2012 at 02:51 AM
Dear Trader Joes, Please stock softer toilet tissue. If you do so I will stay in your bathroom that much shorter time. (As I will not have to drip dry in order to protect my delicate hind parts.) Your harsh toilet paper caused my to nick my derriere and rush to urgent care.
ArlVaPete March 20, 2012 at 11:11 AM
You couldn't walk to the front of the store to use your precious smart phone? It's not that big of a store. I shake my head and roll my eyes in your direction.


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